OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
