This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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