Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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