No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
