is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize