This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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