I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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