I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
