I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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