im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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