nut hugger
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
