would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
