i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
