yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
