my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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