This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
