I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I love having hate sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
