I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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