Sry I called you an 8
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize