there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
