Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
