Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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