i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's never too late to be topless.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize