Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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