that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
