obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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