Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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