I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
