I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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