i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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