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she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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