no. you can't hotbox the world.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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