Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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