I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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