i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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