he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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