the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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