You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize