party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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