just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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