Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
