He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was confusing and full of hummus
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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