Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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