a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
