i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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