Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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