but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
