Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
