the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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