Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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