You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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