First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize