If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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