Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't think brook has ever known best
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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