If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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