last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize