Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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