Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
