Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
